just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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