And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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