Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
