First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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