Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
