Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
