Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize