I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
