My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
