what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
