Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
