come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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