So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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