Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
