She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
