Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
