If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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