You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
