2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize