like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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