i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just had sex on a roof
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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