he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
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If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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