I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
