im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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