dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
