you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
