I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He kissed a someone with a penis
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
