I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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