Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
