thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
