This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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