birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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