her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
