dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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