Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
