I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize