How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
