You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
