rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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