OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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