i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
