It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
