I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
