miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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