Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
