it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
