Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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