anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize