So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
