Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
