will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
True college students do jello shots in the library
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
