He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He better not be in your backpack
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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