I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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