there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
