he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
