Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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