i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
