they need to just BURY HIM!
handjob tips. give me some.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
