I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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