saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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