I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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