Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize